Toxic Negative Parents: Negative Words Have Deep Roots in Children’s Minds

The term “toxic parents” is used to describe parents who exhibit detrimental behaviors or patterns that have a negative impact on their children. Although not all parents exhibit toxic behavior, there are some who engage in actions that have a detrimental impact on their children. Common examples of toxic parenting behaviors encompass emotional abuse, physical abuse, neglect, manipulation, control, criticism, and a failure to establish boundaries. It is crucial to acknowledge that not all arduous or demanding parent-child relationships are inherently toxic. Occasionally, parents may display toxic behaviors as a result of unresolved personal issues, mental health conditions, or past traumatic experiences. Alternatively, parents may be unaware of the influence their actions have on their children and could benefit from educational programs, therapy, or other types of assistance to enhance their parenting abilities.

Figure 1: Toxic Negative Parents
Figure 1: Toxic Negative Parents

Toxic Behavior of the Parents

Children must consistently expect affection and nurturing from their parents. Nevertheless, what occurs if the parents display toxic behaviors? The US Department of Health and Human Services disclosed that the figure surpasses $50,000. Who qualifies as an official victim of emotional abuse, irrespective of the intention behind hurtful words? They have the ability to create impressions and recollections that endure anywhere from a brief period to an entire lifetime. Derogatory comments can originate from individuals who are close to us, such as our parents, and the resulting psychological and emotional harm can have severe consequences for many individuals, particularly their children.

Figure 2: Toxic Behavior effects on Parents
Figure 2: Toxic Behavior effects on Parents

The way parents raise and behave around their children lays the groundwork for their personality and self-esteem. So, how do you know if a parent or caretaker is toxic? Here are eight things toxic parents say can affect a child’s life.

Offensive words towards their parents

“You’re ugly”; “too fat”;

“Too short,” “too skinny,” or “you’ve got ugly hair” are common comments.

Degrading a child based on their appearance will likely only increase their physical insecurity and concern about their body image.

Impact on children  

This has the potential to result in significant psychological problems, such as the development of eating disorders.

Suggestion

Irrespective of their outward appearance, parents should instruct their children in the art of self-love.

Figure 3: Toxic Negative Parents Offensive words
Figure 3: Toxic Negative Parents Offensive words

Incisive Inquiries Prompt Decisive Actions.

For example, “Why do you act so weird?” For instance, someone might ask, “Why do you act so weird?” or “Why do you walk that way?”

“Chew that way, move, or talk that way.”

Impact on children

Children tend to believe anything their parents say. So, sarcastic questions or remarks like this may make the child feel like there’s something wrong with them. This makes it very hard for the child to be themselves around people, even during adulthood. And they may then be trapped by the discomfort and fear that others may laugh at them or notice the flaws that their toxic parents made up for them.

Suggestions

These points resolve the issues arising from intrusive inquiries and prompt decisive action.

Positive reinforcement

Open communication

Constructive feedback

Empathy and understanding

Modeling respective behavior

Figure 4: Incisive Inquiries Prompt Decisive Actions
Figure 4: Incisive Inquiries Prompt Decisive Actions

Selfish Wishes

“I wish you were never born.”

“I wish I had an abortion.” “I regret having you.”

“I wish you were a different child.”

Impact on children

Parents should never say something like this to a child. It’ll make them feel like they weren’t supposed to exist in this world in the first place, and that they don’t deserve to be alive. These remarks can be extremely harmful to both children and humans in general. They diminish their whole sense of identity, which can lead to self-harm and early depression.

Suggestion

Instead, parents should make them feel loved and valued.

Figure 5: Toxic Negative Parents Snatch the Wishes
Figure 5: Toxic Negative Parents Snatch the Wishes

Making the Child Feel like A Burden

“You cost me too much money.”

“Taking care of you is so hard.” “Having you exhausts me.”

Impact on children

If a parent says this to their child,

The child will feel like a burden. It’ll cost them to unconsciously hide their needs, feelings, and problems.

Merely to prevent the parent’s harshness.

Suggestion

In light of this, Nemours, a for-profit children’s healthcare system, has reported that a lack of love and affection, along with materialistic items, can lead some children to resort to theft and abuse.

Figure 6: Making the child feel like a burden
Figure 6: Making the child feel like a burden

Unhealthy Comparisons

“Why aren’t you like your sibling, cousin, or the other kids?”

“The other kids are better than you.”

This whole thing reduces a child’s self-esteem subtly and makes them think that they’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard they try. Also, comparing siblings with one another only promotes an unhealthy relationship between them.

Impact on children

This will cause them to feel jealousy and resentment towards each other.

Suggestion

We should equally grant siblings the right to forge their own independent identities.

Figure 7: Child in Depressed Mood
Figure 7: Child in Depressed Mood

Verbally Abusive Words or Statements

“You’re stupid, useless”, “and a loser!” or “You’ll never make it.”.

Impact on children

Absolute statements like this will damage the child’s self-esteem.

Suggestion

It’s important that parents encourage their children to believe in themselves.

Figure 8: Verbally Abusive Words or Statements
Figure 8: Verbally Abusive Words or Statements

Threatening Rejection

“I’ll leave you,”  “I’ll put you aside,”  “You’ll wake up and never find me,” and “I’ll just disappear.” This can lead to the child experiencing abandonment issues, as they may believe that their loved ones will abandon them due to their unique characteristics.

Impact on children

This belief will ingrain itself unconsciously in the child’s mind as they grow up. They’ll be unable to trust future relationships because of their fear of leaving.

Figure 9: Threatening Rejection
Figure 9: Threatening Rejection

Fake Promises

“If you do this, I’ll buy you that,” or “I’ll take you there next time,” but they don’t follow through.

Impact on children

When a parent fails to fulfill their promises, it undermines the child’s trust. The child experiences a sense of betrayal. Engaging in deceitful commitments is a highly effective method to instill in a child the importance of being cautious and skeptical when placing trust in others throughout their life.

Suggestion

Don’t make any fake promises.

Figure 10: Fake Promises Make Child Annoyed
Figure 10: Fake Promises Make Child Annoyed

To conclude, even though words aren’t physically harmful, they can be extremely harmful to psychic and emotional well-being.

In the course of every human being’s life, childhood is an important period. Our personalities, behaviors, and beliefs are all formed during our formative years. Have you ever been subjected to any of these particular types of abuse? Regarding them, what are your thoughts? You can leave a comment below.

Regards

Dr. Abid Hussain Nawaz

 

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